just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
