If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
