clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
