sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
