It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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