We won't sleep together?
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
