Porn is love you can see.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
