p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize