Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
