His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
