Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I am available for nakedness
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
