So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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