I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
