just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
