My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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