I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
