taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
