More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
