The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
