I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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