i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
