i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
