I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
