so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
