can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
