Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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