I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
