You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
