I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
