watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
