Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
