He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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