Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize