I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
