isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
this will be a night to untag.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
