Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
