I bet he comes in French.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
