I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
