I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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