ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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