Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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