$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
