What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
