Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
