I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
