Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
