It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
