do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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