Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
