Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
