I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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