What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This baby is an asshole
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
