I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize