this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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