he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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