69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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