Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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