Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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