I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
