My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
