can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
